Spoiled child - how to react correctly? How not to grow a spoiled child
Very often you can hear recently from parents: "I have a spoiled child! I do not know what to do!". Indeed, for modern society capricious and disobedient children - a huge problem. Especially when the baby is still very young. Not everyone knows how to react to children's whims and tantrums. And even more so, few people know how to raise a normal child. After all, every person is an individual. Therefore, there is no exact algorithm for behavior, only small tips. So how not to grow a spoiled child? And how can you distinguish the usual childish whim from the most real hysteria? Now we have to find out.
Many believe that all children are spoiled and disobedient initially. After all the child only develops and tries to prove himself, express his own desires and needs. Nevertheless, this assumption - this is just an excuse not to engage in the upbringing of the child. In order to correct the problem in time, it will be necessary to reveal it somehow. There are 8 signs of a spoiled child. How correctly to react to the behavior of the baby? About this later. In the meantime, let's try to find out what points to the spoiled child:
- The kid is trying to achieve the desired here and now. In any way and instantly.
- Unreasonable hysterics. Over time, they become more frequent.
- Irritated state, the child quickly gets tired of new things.
- Ignoring requests from adults. All actions are carried out after long explanations of the situation and persuasion.
- Greed and increased sense of ownership.
- The child tries to expose parents (and adults) not in the best light, to dishonor.
- Requirements are constantly in the spotlight.
- The kid manipulates his parents, requires encouragement for obedience.
All this indicates that the child is spoiled. Not necessarily all signs will manifest themselves fully. It is enough to have some of them. Remember, not all children are spoiled and disobedient. Therefore, there are tips that help parents not raise a whim, as well as respond correctly to abnormal behavior.
What is spoiledness
But to begin with it is necessary to clearly understand what child spoiledness means. In general, some parents believe that the lack of complete obedience is our term. This is not true.
A spoiled child is just a naughty, ill-bred child. He does not know the rules of behavior, culture and the word "impossible." Remember that even a baby has an opinion. Therefore, spoiling is not the absence of complete obedience. In general, pay attention to 8 signs of a spoiled child. If they manifest with your baby regularly, you will have to think about correcting the situation. Otherwise, small whims and disagreement with your instructions are permissible.
The first situation that we will consider is disobedience in public places. A very common phenomenon, especially at different playgrounds. Suppose you have a spoiled child (3 years). It is at this age that the kids already clearly understand what "bad" is and what is "good". Therefore, if the behavior of a child at 3 years is terrible, it's time to start adjusting upbringing. But you need to start with yourself. How to react, if in a public place the baby has a hysterics, and he does not obey?
There are several options. The first is to talk to the baby. Practice shows that this behavior is useless. After all, a spoiled child does not hear what is being said to him. It's worth trying, but you do not really need to hope for success. The second method is to turn around and leave the playground / public place. All "disassembly" of behavior should be arranged at home. After all, in public, you expose yourself not in the best light. A little caprice is just what you need! So he will try to manipulate you.
However, sometimes you can just be an observer. The child does not obey you? Going where you do not need to go? Let him see what will come of it. Warn about the danger and let the child do what he wants. Sometimes only this can help. Not quite right, but very effective. Especially when it comes to some action on the playground.
If children are spoiled by their parents, then it is very difficult to fight the situation. After all, these kids will roll up scandals and tantrums everywhere: on the street, at home, in educational institutions. And you need to somehow suppress it.
What to do if the child arranges "concerts" at home? Here you can use several other methods. It is necessary to explain to the child what he is doing wrong. After that, punishment should follow. Let him know that he will be punished for disobedience. However, try not to "bend the stick." Your reprimands should not be too cruel.
For example, you can deprive a child of cartoons, sweets, or some goodies. Quite effective ways. But they do not work with everyone. Another good advice is to put (or put) the child in a corner. Let him think about his behavior in silence and alone. This method works well if you have a spoiled child (4 years and older). Do not react to all whims and hysterics.
By the way, the lack of response to disobedience is another technique that parents use successfully. To do this, you must have "steel nerves" and a lot, a lot of patience. After all, enduring the onslaught of a spoiled child is difficult. Especially if he is still in preschool age.
Did the baby get hysterical? Is he capricious and demands something? In response, let him get complete indifference and disregard. On some children, this approach works flawlessly. Several times it is enough to show that you still infuse on your - and the kid will lose interest in harassing you. However, if you have a small spoiled child (2 years and younger), you will also have to fight with a sense of guilt, which children are very fond of "pushing." Have strength and patience. You will need them.
However, sometimes it is, as already mentioned, to talk with the child. This option is suitable for the initial stage of spoiling. And he often works with schoolchildren. With very little kids, as practice shows, you have to cope with other methods.
What if you have a spoiled child? Try to somehow explain what is his error in behavior. After that, you need to find a compromise. For example, very often hysterics in children happen with respect to the regime of the day. Offer some kind of compromise. For example, an hour later we go to bed, but in return we need to wash the dishes / work out / help the parents / behave quietly and calmly. In general, every parent himself must know the trip to his child. The arrangement and dialogues are perhaps the best method of education. But it rarely works as it should.
Remember one more holy rule - no matter how spoiled the child (5 years old, 2 years old or older) was, you can not use stalking in education. First, it's wrong. Beating a child is the last thing. Secondly, this behavior gives the kids even more disobedience, resentment, anger. And the son or daughter, most likely, will start to do everything to you for evil.
This rule applies to the use of "father's belt". This method of education takes place, but it is not welcomed. Instead of assault, you can give a small slap on the pope. Not strong. It's just that the child understands that he is doing something wrong.
Unfortunately, sometimes you can not do without a belt. This option can be considered when the stage of disobedience is the latest. And no way the kid does not understand his mistakes. However, to apply a belt, too, must be dosed, with the mind. Hlestat a lot can not be, only 1-2 times, for educational purposes. Fortunately, after several such executions, the child's behavior usually changes for the better.
In some cases, parents try to just fulfill the wishes of their baby. This is a wrong decision. Because of this behavior, spoiled children are obtained. Unfortunately, many do not have enough patience. And you just have to do what a spoiled child needs.
Practice shows, it is only necessary to go on an occasion at the child's, how he "absolutely will be beaten at hand". Remember, do not give in to children's requirements. Especially if they contradict your family values and principles. With pampered children, you sometimes have to be very serious and restrained. Otherwise, you just yourself will make more problems. With age, spoiled kids are becoming more insolent and impudent. Requests from them grow, and the form of disobedience develops in a geometric progression. And to cope with them, if you indulge the child, it will be impossible.
And now a few tips that will help not grow a spoiled child. To begin with, all educational activities must be carried out immediately after the birth of the baby. Often it is the little children begin to pamper and surround with tremendous care. Fulfill all whims, whims and desires. It is not right. It has already been said that it is not permissible to indulge.
By the way, this does not mean that you need not immediately pay attention to the needs of the child. Rather, on the contrary. You should find a "golden mean" that will help meet the needs of the kid without excess. Do not run up to the child immediately, as soon as he demands it. Parents just have to listen to themselves, and also feel when their babies really need attention.
Too much care for children can not be provided. They are also personalities and will manifest themselves approximately from 2-3 years. By this time, the kid must know exactly what is "possible" and what is "not allowed". If you are in correct doses will communicate with the child, then there will be no hysterics and disobedience. Remember, no one person will become "silk". He will still show somehow his feelings and emotions. Children do this through tears and hysterics. Prepare for the fact that such phenomena can not be avoided.
Also you will have to gain strength to somehow "filter" the communication of strangers with your child. Excessive attention generates spoiling. The main mistake of many parents is the constant surrounding of the baby by loving grandmothers and grandfathers. The older generation will very often allow what mums and dads forbid. To convince them of the opposite is useless. No, this does not mean that it is necessary to forbid grandparents to communicate with their grandchildren. Just control this process and, perhaps, even write a special set of rules for communication. As a reminder or reminder.
If your baby often remains with the older generation and after this communication becomes capricious and spoiled, it will be necessary for some time to protect loving and kind grandparents from the child. Until you can bring up the baby and adjust his behavior. And while your parents themselves do not understand what you can allow your grandchildren, and what can not. Again, a reminder with the rules will help.
In general, not to raise a spoiled child, will have to deal with it. Give your child enough attention, develop it in every possible way, try to satisfy his needs. But no frills. Sometimes the lack of attention on the part of parents can cause the baby to start "hysterical." Or, on the contrary, excessive care becomes the impetus to this.
Do not forget that you should give your child an example. Behave yourself culturally, discreetly and correctly. Conduct conversations on the topic of behavior, explain what is "good", and what is "bad." It starts with a small age.
In some cases, disobedience and hysteria along with pampering should be treated. In the literal sense of this phrase. If you are not able to cope on your own, it is better to contact a psychologist. The professional will find out the cause of disobedience, and then can correct the behavior of the child. But be prepared that your views will also have to be changed.