How many years can you meet? The first relationship of teenagers
Romantic relationships among adolescents - a phenomenon not uncommon. Often these relations come from friendship, since the leading activity in the 14-15 years is an intimate-personal communication. The need for a close friend is so great that if a teenager does not find one, if he has no one to tell his secrets, to tell about his experiences, he feels deeply unhappy.
Many parents, who have children in their families, are worried about the number of years a son or daughter can meet. How to talk with a child at this age? Do we need to convince him, to prove that great feelings for a neighbor on a desk are short-lived? First of all, you need to try to understand your children, let them live all the stages of growing up gradually. Parents should be delicate, but not intrusive. Children who have entered the adolescence often do not understand their parents, believing that they are all trying to limit their freedom.
Difficulties faced by a teenager in love
The teenager of 15 years is already not the child, but also not the adult. He wants to appear to be an adult, and therefore in everything will strive to prove his independence, independence. Including from parents. So do not be surprised that the child does not tell you everything that happens to him, ceases to share his experiences. He and so it is very difficult to deal with their conflicting feelings.
Your fifteen-year-old son is actually tormented with questions about how to approach a girl she likes, than to earn her attention, how to cause her to be treated. Perhaps you think all this is stupid, because you - an adult and long ago left behind youthful dreams and impulses. Teenagers are very vulnerable and insecure, even if outwardly they seem proud and unapproachable. If, at a time when thousands of anxious thoughts overwhelm him, to start pestering him with questions, you can spoil the mood for yourself and the child for a long time.
Unhappy love in adolescents
The first love is a real test both for the child himself and for the parents. Because for a teenager the feeling itself is new, exciting, it is often not in a position to control it. He loves for the first time, and it seems to him that this is forever. The first relationships of teenagers always come as a surprise to their parents. Then you can not help but be confused: how to behave and how to react? And if love makes a child suffer, exhausts, he becomes nervous and anxious, then he needs your parental support.
Try to talk to him heart to heart: tell us about your first love, let know that you understand his experiences and do not think nonsense. If a child suffers from unrequited love for a long time, then he needs a consultation of a psychologist. The specialist will work with him, help overcome the feeling of seeming desperation and loneliness. In addition, the psychologist will help to direct his feelings and thoughts in the right direction: often, experiencing the first love, teenagers abandon their studies, everyday household chores, quarrel with others.
How old can I meet?
This question is asked by both children and their parents. It is truly painful and controversial, because there is no clear age limit when a child can be allowed to meet with someone. As a rule, everything happens very unexpectedly and parents just put before the fact. Much depends also on the relationship in which the adolescent is with his chosen one or his chosen one. If it's just a friendship, a friendly relationship, then they do not need to be banned. Children can be friends from at least a kindergarten, what's wrong with that?
It's another matter if you become aware that your son or daughter has fallen in love for the first time. These are completely different feelings, and age is important here. If a child is only 13 - 14 years old, of course, you need to be very careful about what is happening to him. The friendship of adolescents can smoothly move into something more, and after giving in to feelings, a teenager can begin an intimate relationship. It is important to consider that at such a young age, children can easily do something stupid. It's not worth it. But just to forbid to see each other is also not an option. Even if it seems to you that it is too early for a child to meet with the opposite sex, do not tell him this. You will only undermine his self-confidence and that you really understand him. Important is not age as a fact, confirming that the child is old enough, but how much he is ready for a close relationship.
Answering the question about how many years you can meet, it is necessary to take into account the degree of the adolescent's readiness for the relationship: how much can he be responsible for his actions, is able to recognize his own mistakes, whether he has sufficient knowledge about puberty and intimate relations. Is a teenager able to think not only about himself, but also about a partner?
Of course, in the 13-14 years of this can not go and talk. Becoming older, by about 16-17 years, a young man or girl already clearly imagine what their choice should be, understand what kind of relationship they want them to have.
A teenager should know that from the age of fourteen there is a criminal responsibility for offenses. The relationship of adolescents is a complicated thing, they often have conflict situations that can be accompanied by various troubles. Most of the children who grew up in well-to-do families by the age of sixteen can take responsibility for the relationships they have at this point in time.
How to help your child become more confident?
In adolescence, it's so hard to decide to come to know your favorite peer. A teenager, even the most courageous, sometimes experiences difficulties, suddenly becomes clumsy and shy.
Shyness at this age is perfectly normal, provided that it is worked on, that a young man or girl sincerely wants to overcome this quality. In especially difficult cases, when a teenager is catastrophically afraid of refusal or simply can not build a trusting relationship with a peer, a psychologist's consultation will help. The specialist will direct him to solve the problem, tell him how to overcome his imaginary shortcomings and learn how to love and appreciate.
The fragility of the relationship
Unfortunately, most of the teenage novels have no continuation and end, just before they start. This is because young people are just learning to build up a full-fledged trusting relationship with each other. So young partners can prevent any small thing that an adult will seem insignificant: a lack of understanding of the motives of the actions of a friend or girlfriend, the difference of characters, some minor problem that will cause a teenager's feeling of helplessness and despondency. Therefore, the question of how many years it is possible to meet really matters. For quite understandable reasons, boys and girls who have not reached the age of sixteen are unlikely to be really ready for a long-term relationship.
Do I need to talk about sex with teens?
The topic of intimate relations is very concerned about teenagers and their parents. Teenagers are peculiar experiences about possible physical affinity, they tell friends about their "exploits" (often imaginary), fantasize. With all the accessibility of information, young people often can not imagine the seriousness of all the consequences that an early sexual life can bring. Therefore, it is not only possible to talk about sex with teenagers, but also it is necessary. If you know that your son or daughter found a couple, meet, walk, then the question of intimate relationships can not be ruled out. Children grow very quickly, even if parents do not want to believe in it. It is better to hold a warning conversation in time than to be unprepared for a surprise.
How to react if a teenager brings his half to home?
Serious relationships in adolescence are rare, but are not an exception. When the feelings of young people are big and strong, the children have a desire to introduce their chosen one or their chosen one to their parents. This is commendable, and such a step should only be welcomed. Think about it: if a child thinks it necessary to introduce you to his half, then he trusts you, and your opinion is important to him. Such trust should be tried in every possible way to justify and support in the future: then you will always know what is happening with your child.
Thus, the question of how many years can be met is of paramount importance when a teenager is not yet ready to build personal relationships. When a young man has learned to take responsibility for his own actions and actions, there is no need to fear.