Naughty children are the norm
There are no naughty children, just as there are no children perfectly obedient. Any child behaves differently in different "proposed circumstances." And this is normal. Time, place, people, with whom the child interacts, and many other factors can turn any angel into a wretch, and vice versa.
The child is always naughty for some reason, and not just for that. The task of an adult is to understand the cause of children's whims. Of course, you must take into account the age of the child. Disobedience of the three-year-old is completely different from the "pose" of a teenager, but they are based on one thing - the desire to attract attention, show character.
From the point of view of psychology, the problems of raising children are exacerbated in certain life stages. Naughty children can justifiably act ugly just a few times in their lives. These are the so-called crises of 3, 7 and 13 years.
At 3 years old, the individuality of the child begins to manifest itself roughly. In this period it is very important to understand that the behavior of the baby is now conditioned not so much by his personal qualities as by natural human characteristics. During the crisis of three years the child's position is "I myself", in the world sounding like "I do not want, I will not, no."This is a difficult period, not only for parents who are in shock from turning their complaisant child into an unmanageable imp. It is not easy for the three-year-old himself, who is not yet able to cope with his emotions and defends his rights in all available ways.
It is possible to significantly simplify each other's lives by adopting the rules of the child's play. That is, it is better to agree that he is an adult and has the right to solve some innocuous problems himself, for example, what color to wear socks. At the same time, in some basic questions an adult must be firm and not allow the child to manipulate himself.
At 7 years the next difficult period comes. The child goes to school, falls into a new environment for him, begins to actively communicate with peers. In his life there is a new authority - the first teacher. It is necessary to prepare for the fact that "Maryvivna" will become for your child the most intelligent person on the planet, her word is the law, and you can argue with your parents. Naughty first-graders now live on completely different laws: if they are praised in the classroom, their significance will grow, and if the mother kisses her treasure for everyone, they can laugh. And again, parents have to accept the rules of the game - in the school it is necessary to "keep the mark", and at home it is obligatory to give them their affection and warmth, in which the child still very much needs.
When a child turns 13, parents understand that all previous problems were not problems at all. Adolescence is a test of the "strength" of the parental nervous system. This crisis is very similar to the philosophy of the three-year-olds "I myself", only on a different level, now disobedient children can easily raise their voices, slam the door, fan a scandal out of nothing and so on. What to do in this period? First of all, have patience. To be a support for the child, the main and most loyal friend, vest, a magician - anyone, if only he felt that his parents love him, despite all his frills. Growing up, children are increasingly distancing themselves from their parents, and it is very important to be able to keep true intimacy.
Naughty children, at whatever age they are, are just children. They all also need love, care and protection. If at some point in life parents can not manage themselves, it is better not to bring the matter to serious conflicts, but to turn to a specialist. A psychologist for a child can become, if not an adviser, a "hint", help to understand himself and eventually contribute to improving the atmosphere in the house.