Punishment of the child
There are no such parents who would not want to live with their children in full understanding. Many moms and dads are wondering how to raise a child without shouting and punishments. Let's try to understand why this is we do not always succeed, and know that you need to do to ensure that our house was peaceful and quiet environment.
According to psychologists, parents often fail to achieve anything with words because they use a wrong method of education. Also, experts note that the major role played by the temperament of the baby. Of course, in raising a child tips that would be equally suitable to every single family can not be. However, the basic rules, following which you can build the right relationship, you should know.
Crises age children
Sometimes parents incorrectly identify the reasons for the bad behavior of their children. Moms and dads think that they do not like to be, contrary to the prohibitions and spite. It turns out that the cause of the whims and tantrums in many cases is a crisis, which marks the main stages of a growing child.
The stages of growing up children:
- From two to four years. This is the age when a child first begins to show its character. He wants to be more independent than it allows parents. Avoid yelling and punishment at this age is quite simple.
- Seven years. In this age children in many matters, become independent from their moms and dads. The difficulty lies in the fact that the child seven years old may appear, authorities in addition to parents.
- Adolescence. This period psychologists believe one of the most difficult in the life of every person.
The main rules of pedagogy
- First and foremost it should be noted that it is impossible to put pressure on their small children the authority and make every attempt to keep their independence. It's a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it is possible to raise a rather obedient child. But on the other hand, it is also threatened by the fact that in adulthood he will not be able to take responsibility for their actions. The relationship between parents and children should be built on the principle of partnership.
- Do not ask the child of obedience in the form of ultimatums and orders. Much more correct their requests to present in the form of wishes.
- Often praise your child for doing something good.
- Never raise in conversation with the little voice, don't lose your temper and be calm.
- Remember that you are the authority for kids. Always be a positive example for them. The kids see the parents ideal and observe how they behave in the family and among strangers. Before you chastise your child for violation of any bans, make sure you do not break.
Learn to punish children properly
Some parents think that a naughty child can be raised without punishment and screams. They believe that this is one of the components of the educational process. In this case, moms and dads should strictly adhere to the faces of punishment. They should understand that the purpose of education in any case should not be revenge, and to observe some rules:
- In the relationship with the child should be absolutely no violence. You need to avoid even light slaps supposedly as a joke.
- Requirements parents need to be consistent always. It is impossible at different times in different ways relate to the same misconduct of the child.
- The kid should know that disobedience will entail bad consequences.
- Need to punish immediately after the infraction. Measures that will be taken later will not be received properly and will lose its effectiveness.
- Punishment of children in the family must be temporary.
- Bad thing we need to discuss alone with the baby.
- Not to offend, or stick a little label. Conviction is subject to a specific action, not the identity of the child.
- It is not necessary to remember the children of their former misdeeds. Discussing the punishment of the child, to talk to him only about what he done now.
To spank or not have a child in 2 years?
It is especially necessary to deal with the punishment of a child under the age of three. Blame the kid or not, how to deal with a naughty baby? Some parents did not hesitate to use physical force: put into a corner or slap on the ass. Other adults prefer to have on a child's moral pressure, for example refuse to honor the baby before sleep or not allowed to see a movie.
On methods of pedagogy written a lot of papers, but parents still keep coming back to the same question: is it possible to spank a child? Some psychologists believe that if parents do not abuse physical punishment, and if they are not much afraid of the child, sometimes this method is still possible.
The fact that the baby is older than two years is already beginning to realize that in some situations wrong. But he is not always able to stop her bad behavior. Kids this age sometimes test boundaries. They haven't learned to navigate in our world and sometimes find out how far the vagaries and pampering parents will allow them to go. In this case mom or dad needs to use the punishment of the child that will stop it and show a clear line.
Most experts agree that until the child reaches two years of age to punish and scold him makes no sense. Before this age such behavior parents can be seen by the baby not as they would like. Such a child when he was put in the corner, thinks he's bad, so mom and dad don't love him. He can see the consequences of their bad behavior (the broken plate, soiled or broken thing), but still does not understand that it happened because of him.
It is very important at an early age to teach the child to contact with the surrounding things correctly, with specific prohibitions. At the same time in details that the baby is unlikely to understand, to go not worth it.
How to raise toddlers up to three years?
This age is often characterized by the appearance of children have imaginary friends at jitterbugs. Shifting the blame for committing bad deeds on the other, the child feels more confident. The parents in this case, you need to understand why their child has chosen such a model of behavior. You should try to discuss with him the situation and help him to fix it. Guys who are not afraid of condemnation and the wrath of the parents, as a rule, freely tell them why they did poorly.
Closer to three-year age kids want to feel more independent from their parents. It was then that they begin to act in defiance of mom and dad. To punish the three-year period is not necessary, because you will hardly be able to achieve obedience. The child in response to the use of force will resist even harder. Psychologists recommend to the pranks and whims of three kids to take knowing that over time this behavior will come to naught.
Many experts believe that parents choosing a method of punishment for children two to three years should clearly understand what results they want to achieve. Physical punishment of children will not give long lasting effect. To help the child to realize his fault and be corrected, you need to calmly explain to him why others were upset with his actions. Learn to be attentive to the little man, to hear him. This method will be the best "punishment".
Teachers klassificeret penalties as follows:
- explanatory conversation
- the natural punishment of a child
- symbolic punishment.
Ignoring one of the most effective methods. Use it sparingly and for serious misconduct, not to undermine the authority of parents. Psychologists say that when the baby will fulfil the requirement of the mom or dad, then they should embrace him. It is very important to understand that parents always have to stay friends that he can trust in a difficult moment for him.
If you have wondered how to raise a child without shouting and punishments, then often spend with a little explanatory conversation. Guilty child you need to talk in a calm and discreet environment. Parents should try to ask the kid why he did so, and explain to him why you can't do that. This penalty allows us to build trusting relationships between adults and children, as well as to find a common language. Talking without shouting and notations that can be achieved from the conversation.
Natural punishment occurs when the act of the child entails a reward. In this case, it is sufficient just to remind the kid that warned him about the consequences.
Symbolic punishment of a child is the restriction of the activities of the child (stand in a corner, unable to watch your favorite cartoon).
For what punish children?
To avoid uncertainty in this question, we need to agree in advance with your children what is possible and what is not. The child should be entered in the course of prohibition, which, in turn, must be reasonable adults. If the kid committed the act, but in the list of prohibitions it was not, then from the punishment of the parent would have to abstain.
When you can't punish?
You need to understand that every situation is different, so can not act rashly. Even if the child has committed a rash act, in some cases, to punish him still not worth it. We are talking about the following situations:
- before going to sleep
- during illness
- when the child eats
- during the game
- if the baby is now the period of rehabilitation from a previously received physical or mental injuries
- when the child made a mistake, but sincerely tried to avoid it
- if an adult is upset and is in a bad mood.
Encouragement and punishment of children
It is believed that rewards and punishments are the only effective methods of managing people. The purpose of these actions against children is to develop a conditional reflex. So, for correct behavior, the kid gets a promotion, for the wrong punishment.
There are such types of punishment of children:
Deemed fair measure of influence, the next violation of the rules that informed parents with a child discussed. If the child is punished unjustly, as a result, he gets a very strong offense, but his parents – a deep sense of guilt. We are talking about situations in which there is a lack of understanding of the meaning of the sentence. So moms and dads should clarify its claims to the child.
Parents often unfairly punish their children because of the influence of any situations that are not associated directly with the behavior of kids. Adults should learn to control their emotional state. This will allow kids not to get confused due to the inconsistent behaviour of the parents.
Most tragic, according to psychologists, is when the child is punished because he is unloved. If the parents found the strength to admit it, they can try to fix the situation. Relationship with the children of such parents should be based on a sense of duty.
Teachers never tire of repeating that the main task of moms and dads is to raise their children with minimal psychological trauma.
Methods to encourage child
The motivation of the child for good behavior is chosen based on its age. So, the younger the baby, the greater must be the reward. You can give your child a new toy that he wanted, or a little longer to play with him. Older children can as approval to offer to go next weekend to the circus or the entertainment complex. The guys are more Mature better developed sense of time, so they will perceive the reward correctly.
Methods of punishment
Choosing the methods of punishment of the child, should also be based on their age:
- Insulation. If the child is guilty, it is either put into a corner or leave the room. There should not be any entertainment that the kid was able to calmly reflect on his misconduct and convicted. This punishment is calculate very simple: as a child years, so many minutes it needs to be insulated.
- The deprivation of pleasure. If an unruly child has committed no respecter of persons act, the punishment will be appropriate to deprive him for a while sweets or a favorite toy.
- Punishment of a child a stranger. This method is very effective. The guys close to the heart of the criticism of outsiders, so you can ask another person to tell about the dangers of bad behavior.
- Creek. This method should only be used as a threat to the child's health situations. Yelling at the baby to stop a dangerous action. In other cases, you do not need. Kid, most likely, will not understand what the parent claims, but the style of such behavior will learn perfectly and it will apply to your address.
- Rigor. Some parents need only strictly look at the child as he is already beginning to think about their behavior. Excessive strictness leads to the fact that the baby starts to lie to avoid punishment.
Every parent on their own experience convinced that raising a child is one of the most difficult missions in life. If adults have the knowledge how to do it correctly, then raise the baby in mutual understanding and love they will be much easier.