Why do we need children? A full-fledged family
How many children should be in the family, so that everyone is happy? Unfortunately, there is no unambiguous answer to this question. To solve such a dilemma for yourself, take into account all the life circumstances, which we will discuss below.
Flowers of life
Why do we need children? Perhaps, before the planned pregnancy should first of all ask yourself this question. Many women look back at relatives and others, blindly follow public opinion or at all specifically lead their lives in line with outdated stereotypes. They have children just because they "have to", without even thinking about how much physical and emotional forces will have to invest in the future in the child, not to mention finances. Couples who for some reason do not hurry to acquire a beloved child become a real target for close relatives and colleagues: everyone considers it their duty to ask: "When?" And recall that time is running out and late births are fraught with countless risks and dangers .
From extreme to extreme
On the other hand, families in which many children are faced with attacks of a different kind. Mom-heroines are often despised for a large number of spinogryzes, if the family does not live well and can not afford the timely repair of a home or the purchase of new children's toys. "Flowers of life" seem to turn from delightful chubby-cheeked kids into unpaid loans, clothes that were used in someone else's clothes, someone else's shoes that were taken from someone else, and cheap sweets instead of fashionable chocolate eggs. People forget that a full-fledged family is the unity of different but infinitely native souls, and not just a couple of wealthy or poor adults and a flock of their offspring.
Everyone chooses for themselves
Recently, such a social phenomenon as chayldfri - the social trend that proclaims free thinking about the completeness of the family and the lack of children in it, has become widespread. Childfree often sincerely do not understand why children are needed, and deliberately refuse to continue the genus, not wanting to bind their hands and feet with the need to look after and care for a small carapace. They believe that there are already too many people on the globe, and without their contribution to the replenishment of mankind the world will easily manage. Adherents of this approach appreciate their own freedom, the opportunity to go anywhere and do whatever they want, spend time as they see fit. They do not need any extra obligations and meaningless, in their opinion, troubles. Childfrey live for themselves and for a loved one.
The opposite of childfree is the mother of many children and fathers. They do not even ask themselves why they need children, and do not dream about a child of a certain gender. They give birth to numerous weddings simply because they feel their purpose in this, because their hearts are required to give a lot of love, because in children they find solace, emotional protection from external experiences, a deep hope that everything will always be good. This opinion also has a full right to exist.
Pressure from outside
It seems that society will always be dissatisfied. If there are no children, then it is necessary to have them. If the child is alone, he really needs a brother or sister. If there are two children, it would be good to give birth to a third child and get the status of a large family in order to enjoy the appropriate social privileges. And if there are more than three children. In the latter case, most people move from positive recommendations to negative assessments and criticism.
When a child is alone
Meanwhile, no one thinks about why a couple has only one child and why the spouses are not in a hurry to have a lot of children. Often, women with a single carapace are among those who once went on the occasion of relatives or public opinion and gave birth to a son or daughter just because "so necessary." Young mothers, who were not initially ready to communicate with a small child, found themselves in a serious stressful situation, came under the influence of postpartum depression and brought out from their first experience of motherhood extremely negative and bad impressions. Needless to say, they do not want to have any more children, because they are afraid of repeating the nightmare they once experienced. There is no time to sleep, there are no forces to clean the apartment, there is not enough patience to listen to children's cries and to treat the baby from incessant colic, there is no money for a milk formula, because breast milk either did not come, or too early burned out. There is no desire to live. This is a typical picture of postpartum depression, guaranteed even before conception to every woman, morally not ready to become a mother.
Neither brothers nor sisters
Of course, there are other reasons not to have more than one child. For someone, the continuation of the family is not a priority in life: it is enough to communicate with a single, but infinitely beloved child. Someone just can not safely conceive or give birth and continues to struggle with a terrible diagnosis of "infertility" or an intolerable string of frozen pregnancies. Gynecological diseases in women and the violation of the sperm in men, financial problems and uncertainty in the future, not the happiest experience of raising the first child is not all reasons to seriously question the need for children, and come to a conclusion about the sufficiency of a single offspring. Is it worth judging people who came to this conclusion? Should I remind them endlessly that they can still "follow the second"?
The social institution of adoption can, perhaps, be considered one of the most successful. The opportunity to officially take under your wing another's child and raise him as your own has brought the long-awaited happiness to thousands and millions of childless couples. They prefer to take away from children's homes newborns - "refuseniks", so that the child does not even remember his own mother and considered his adoptive parents to be blood. However, older children also have a chance to find happiness in a new family. Many of them ended up in shelters after depriving single mothers of parental rights. Having learned from own experience how hard it is to live with drinking and cruel parents, these small, but far from naive children are not always immediately attached to kind and loving hearts. And yet, having ascertained in a significant difference in the attitude, they often fully return the love they presented to them and treat their new parents with much more affection than some of the youngsters with their real dad and mother. Adopted children taken to a new family at a conscious age, remain forever grateful to those who saved them from the hardship of the shelter. Everyone can do this good work - adopt a child left without supervision of the child. But first think: are you sure that you will be able to give him everything that you would give your bloody child?
A couple of words about the meaning of life
So, why do we need children? "To be"? To satisfy their own maternal and paternal instincts, inherent in nature? To grow decent people from them in the future? Are children, therefore, the meaning of life?
A tremendous answer to the question "why" was given by Albert Einstein. In his opinion, any such question can be answered in the following way: a person acts in one way or another only because he creates a feeling of satisfaction for himself and for others by the appropriate act, statement or action. And really, let's return to the first example. There is a social need to have a child. While giving birth to the first-born, a woman satisfies, on the one hand, her own maternal instinct and follows a biologically dictated need for the preservation of the family, and on the other hand it meets the needs of a society that requires the presence of children in almost every family. The Einstein principle can easily be applied to any other situation. What for? To get a feeling of satisfaction! If you need children for your own happiness, do not look at social stereotypes - get as many as you want and can afford. If you do not need - again, do not react to attacks and claims of others, stay chayldfri.
It's only your choice.