A child (2 years old) often freaks out and fusses
The expectation of a child is always full of joyful dreams, plans and hopes. Parents draw to themselves their future life with the baby in bright colors. The son or daughter will be beautiful, intelligent and obedient. The reality is somewhat different. The long-awaited kid is really the most beautiful, clever and beloved, and even sometimes obedient. However, closer to two years the character of the baby begins to change. Yes, so that parents stop recognizing their child.
With the child it becomes extremely difficult to manage. Until recently, so cute and flexible, he becomes capricious, hysterical and seeks to do everything in his own way. Of course, parents are aware that between two and three years the child enters his first transitional age.
Psychologists call this period "the crisis of two years". He's still a very small child - 2 years. Often freaks and fusses. However, it does not become easier from this knowledge. Life next to a small tyrant becomes simply unbearable. The kid, so obedient and sweet, suddenly becomes stubborn and capricious overnight. Hysterics occur many times and from scratch. And, if the child has set himself the goal to get what he wants, then he will not be able to distract him by switching attention to something else. The kid will stand his ground to the last.
Confusion of parents
Most parents are not ready for such changes. Occurring with the child catches them by surprise. Even if the baby has an older brother or sister and parents have already gone through something similar, still forever rolling up hysterics, a nervous child creates an unbearable atmosphere in the house. Parents, frightened by the thought that the baby may have serious health problems, are looking for help from experienced friends. However very few people dare to address to the expert and to receive advice or councils of the children's psychologist.
In such cases, ordinary people's councils are given the same type. Most people tend to think that the child just needs to "set it right" to know how to behave. However, such methods do not bring benefits. The child is nervous and psyches even more, leading relatives with their behavior literally to a nervous breakdown ..
How is the child's hysterics manifested? 2 years - age of tests
Most often the kid resorts to a stormy demonstration of his discontent. He falls to the floor, throws things, hits his parents, breaks toys. And occasions for discontent sometimes arise from scratch. For example, the child wanted water. Mom gives him a bottle, which immediately flies to the floor. It turns out that the baby wanted the bottle to be full, and it was only half full; or the kid ran around yesterday in puddles in rubber boots and wants to put them on today too. Explanations that today in the street the sun and boots are not needed, do not help. The child rolls the hysterics.
It must be said that sometimes the parents are not afraid of hysteria, but of the reaction to others around them. In a situation where your child is constantly freaking out or screaming sexually, it is difficult to remain calm. Especially if it happens in a public place, where there are plenty of "well-wishers". Moms are lost in conjecture. What happened? What is missing in upbringing? What if the child is nervous and naughty?
Most often, the parents do not have any guilt in such situations. It's just that the baby started his first transitional age. Child psychologists call this state a crisis of two years. The cause of the crisis lies in the child itself. The kid is actively mastering the world around him, who constantly presents him with surprises. He wants to be independent, but he can not do without the help of his parents. And the help itself is often actively rejected. Thus, the child's hysteria manifests itself. 2 years is a rather difficult age for a baby, as well as for his parents.
While the baby was very small, he felt himself one with his mother. He calmly allowed himself to be taken in his arms and carried from place to place, fed, dressed and performed many other necessary manipulations. Beginning to realize the limits of one's own self, the child simultaneously tries to know the limits of what is permissible in relation to other people. Although sometimes it seems to parents that they are consciously being pulled out of themselves. However, this is not the case. The child learns to communicate, tries to understand how much his power extends over other people, and tries to manipulate them. From adults it is required to show endurance, not succumbing to provocations.
There is no specific date when the child begins to show character. On average, this begins at two years and ends about three and a half years. If a small child (2 years old) often freaks out and fusses, then this can be called the age norm. The only question is how to survive this period with the least losses.
What should parents do?
Do not pay attention - this is perhaps the most reasonable advice that can be given to parents experiencing with their child his first crisis. It is worth while forgetting about what is right and wrong, and letting the child acquire his own experience. To the best of reason, of course.
"I myself" ─ parents often hear this phrase more often. I'll dress myself, I'll eat myself, I'll go for a walk myself. And it does not matter that on the street +30, and the child wanted to put on the street warm trousers. Negotiations with the abortive baby will end with stormy hysteria. The best thing to do in this situation is simply to let the child put on what he wants. Let him go out into the street in warm trousers. Just take light clothing with you, and when the baby gets hot, change it. Incidentally, explaining that now the sun is shining, and you need to dress easier.
A similar situation is repeated at lunch. The child may want to eat sweet semolina porridge, dipping a salted tomato into it. An attempt to feed him "correctly" will only lead to the fact that he will refuse both. Let him eat what he wants and how he wants. If you can not look at it, just do not look.
Give the child more freedom and do not treat him like a toy. He is the same person as you, and he too has the right to make mistakes. Your task is not to protect him from all troubles, but to help you acquire your own life experience. Of course, it is much easier to dress a child yourself than to wait until he does it himself. Simply allocate a little more time for collection. In addition, try to listen to the opinion of the child himself. After all, he is also a person and has the right to be listened to. If it's lunch time, and the child refuses to eat, then most likely he is not hungry yet. Go to meet him. Most likely, he will soon get hungry, and you will feed him without problems.
Make contact with the child through the game
Games for children 2 years - is the main way to interact with the world. To the question: "What are you doing?", A child of 2-3 years will probably answer: "I'm playing." The child plays constantly. If he has toys, he will play with them. If there are no toys, he will invent them himself.
Often parents complain that the child has many toys, but he almost never plays them. Most often this happens when toys are lying around, disassembled and broken. The child simply forgets about them.
In order for a child to remember about his toys, they must be in his sight. For this, it is best to keep them on open shelves. Big toys are better placed on the floor, so that the kid could easily get them. Medium size toys are placed directly on the shelf. Here they will look the most attractive.
All sorts of small items like small typewriters, figures from the "Kinder-surprises", found on the street of beautiful pebbles, lay out in small boxes. At the top of each box, place one of the items that it contains. So the child will understand where his house is.
Do not give your child all the toys at the same time
If the child does not see all his toys at once, then he will have a longer interest in them. If the toys have accumulated too much, then collect some part and hide. after a while they can be shown to the child. He will begin to play with them with no less interest than with the new ones. Of course, you should not hide those toys to which the child is very attached. Some are worth storing where they are most commonly used. For example, your daughter's toy kitchen accessories can be stored in a special box in the kitchen. This will keep your own kitchen utensils intact.
Toy son's tools can be stored next to Dad's. In response to a child's request to give him a hammer or a drill, give him his own toy tool. Toys for swimming are best stored in the bathroom, and the ball with which he plays on the street, it is better to settle in the corridor.
Think up the child lessons
Perhaps your child is constantly naughty because he is simply bored. He is still very small and can not always figure out how to play with this or that toy. In order for the kid to always be at work, get a special box for all sorts of interesting little things. At the right time, you will remove a ribbon from the box from which you can make a leash for a plush dog, to which he has already lost interest, or a shred for a new doll dress.
During games your baby tries to be closer to you. In his games he will gladly accept your offer of help, but he does not want to be instructed on what to do. Games for children 2 years - it's all sorts of research, experiments and new discoveries. Do not try to explain to him the purpose of a toy or hurry to answer a question that he himself could not really formulate. So you can spoil everything. Try to give the child the opportunity to be in his game as a leader and follow him.
Help the child, be his partner
Your baby can think of some business, but will not be able to fulfill it because of the fact that his physical abilities are still very limited. Help him, but do not do everything for him. For example, he planted a twig of wood in the sand and wants to water his "flower bed". Help him to bring to the sandbox a jar of water, but do not pour out the water yourself. After all, he wants to do it himself. If you deprive him of this opportunity, then the scandal can not be avoided. The child has not yet learned how to correctly express their negative emotions, so often there is hysteria in children. 2 years is an age in which not all babies are still able to really talk. Unable to give weighty arguments in defense of his position, the baby rolls a tantrum.
In many games it is simply impossible to play yourself. You can not catch or roll a ball, if there is no one to throw it, you can not play catch-up, if there is no one to catch up with you. Often children have to ask their parents for a long time to play with them. After much persuasion, they reluctantly agree, but after a few minutes they say: "Well, that's enough, now play it yourself." Or, agreeing to play, announce in advance that they can give the child only 10 minutes. After that, the child does not play so much as he waits with caution that the promised minutes will end and he will be told: "This is enough for today". It is clear that you can not play all day, but sometimes it is worth pretending that you yourself really want it. Give your child the opportunity to enjoy the fact that he finished the game himself when he wanted. Games for children of 2 years is their very life.
How to be, if the child has a fit of hysteria
No matter how carefully you treat a two-year-old child, there are sometimes situations where you can not avoid hysterics. Unfortunately, a small child (2 years old) often freaks out and fusses. Sometimes he has hysterics. According to statistics, more than half of two-year-old children are subject to hysterics and outbursts of rage. For many, this happens several times a week. Tended to hysterics, children are usually very restless, smart and know what they want. Do they want a lot of things and very badly refer to the attempts of adults to prevent them from doing so. Having met the obstacle in its path, a small child (2 years old) often freaks out and fusses, wanting to achieve his goal.
Having fallen into hysterics, the kid is unable to control himself. He generally does not see or hear anything. Therefore, all the items that fall on his way, usually fly in different directions. The child can fall to the floor and shout loudly. Falling, he can hit hard on the floor or furniture. Parents are usually at a loss, they do not understand why a child is sick, after all, everything was just fine. The kid can scream until he does not vomit. At the same time, parents are in a state close to panic, they do not know what to do if the child is nervous and naughty.
It is very difficult for parents to observe such pictures. Especially when the child is very pale and it seems that he will now lose consciousness. True, he will not cause serious harm in this way. To help come the protective reflexes of his body, which will make him take a breath long before he can suffocate.
How to help your child
First of all, you should try to organize the life of the child so that he does not have any nervous overload. If you become a nervous child, the symptoms will be visible right away. This is an increasing outburst of rage. When these outbreaks become too frequent, they will not lead to anything good. If you forbid something to a child or make him do something that is not very pleasant for him, then try to show as much softness as possible. Do not seek to keep the child within strict limits. Trying to protect themselves, the child will begin to make hysterics regularly.
Sometimes parents hope to improve a child's condition, independently giving him sedatives. And the drugs they "appoint" themselves on the advice of relatives and friends. Doing this categorically is not recommended. Only a doctor can prescribe sedatives for children. 2 years is the age in which the child is still extremely vulnerable, uncontrolled use of drugs can harm him.
If the baby starts hysterical, watch him carefully so that he does not hurt himself. During the hysteria, the child's mental state is such that he can not remember what he did while he was riotous. So that he does not injure himself, try to keep it carefully. When he comes to himself, he will see that you are next to him and the scandal created by him has not changed anything. Soon he will relax and fall asleep in your arms. A small monster will turn into a baby, who needs to be petted and comforted. After all, it's still a small child (2 years). Often freaks and fusses, but at the same time desperately needs your love, affection and consolation.
There are children who can not stand it, when they try to keep them during hysterical attacks. This only exacerbates the tantrum. In this case, do not use force. Just try to make sure that the child does not hurt himself. To do this, take away from his path all the beating and easily breaking objects.
Do not try to prove anything to a child, hysterical. While the attack does not pass, nothing will affect him at all. If the child is hysterical, do not shout at him. The sense will not be all the same. Some parents, trying to bring the child to life, begin to beat him. Usually this not only does not soothe him, but, on the contrary, makes him scream even louder. In addition, you can not calculate the strength and cripple the baby.
Do not try to explain something to the screaming child. In the state of extreme irritation, even an adult is not easily persuaded. And what can we say about a two-year-old child. After he calms down, do not start the conversation first. Many children see this as a concession, and the yelling can begin with a vengeance.
It is better to wait until the child does not come to you. If he came to you, hug him, caress and act like nothing happened.
Often parents are horrified at the thought that their child will "roll a concert" in public. They are ready to make any concessions, if only he did not have hysterics. This practice leads to completely opposite results. Children are very observant and know perfectly well how parents can be manipulated. Do not be surprised if the child's hysterics begin to happen regularly and in the most unsuitable places.
Let the kid know that he will not achieve anything from you by hysterics. If he was furious that you forbade him to climb a high staircase, do not let it even after he calms down. If before the beginning of hysteria you planned to go with him for a walk, go as soon as there is silence, and do not remind the child about anything.
Most children's tantrums are designed for the presence of spectators. It is necessary to go into another room, as the cries miraculously cease. Sometimes you can watch a rather funny picture: the child screams from all, rolls on the floor. As soon as he discovers that no one is around, he pauses, then comes closer to his parents and begins his "concert" again.
When is it time to go to a child psychologist?
A psychologist needs to be contacted if the child's hysterics are too frequent and have become protracted. In particular, they do not pass, even if the child remains completely alone. If the parents tried all the methods, but still can not overcome the hysteria, then it's time to seek advice from a child psychologist. In order to find a good specialist, ask your friends who have already been helped by a child psychologist. Feedback will be a good reference for you. In addition, it is worthwhile to visit a children's neurologist. This doctor will appoint the necessary examinations and, if necessary, prescribe sedatives for children. 2 years is the age in which natural preparations are most often recommended on a plant basis.
Sometimes the cause of childhood hysterics lies in family troubles and the lack of agreement between parents. Even if the parents never quarrel in front of the baby, the baby still feels nervous and reacts to it in his own way. It is necessary for them to come to an agreement, having calmed down the thoughts and feelings, as hysterics at the child there and then stop.
Being a child is as difficult as being an adult. But still time is on our side. Very soon you will find that the two-year boundary has been passed, and all the hysterics are far behind.