Probably, everyone had to watch an unpleasant scene in a supermarket or in the market when a young mother tries to drag a screaming 4-5-year-old child from the counter, demanding to buy a car, a gun, a doll, a candy, ice cream - the list can be continued indefinitely. All her attempts are vain - from her cry the child seems to be recharging with energy, and his crying and screaming turns into real hysteria.
A lot of sympathetic women try to calm him down. Nobody pays attention to the fact that a small "blackmailer" is closely watching what is happening around him. If you imagine that at some point all turn away and begin to do their own business, then the baby will very quickly calm down and switch his attention to something else.
Usually a capricious child is one who could not be taught to communicate properly, to talk, and in his arsenal of means to achieve the desired only experience gained before the year. Namely - I lie and scream.
The child's psychology up to the year is entirely aimed at communicating with the adults around him, primarily with his mother. At first he gets attention to himself, using crying. Unfortunately, in the absence of due attention this weapon remains in small hands for years.
I would not want to upset many parents, but if you have a moody childyou are not an authority for him. Imagine a very common situation, which illustrates the collapse of the parents' pedestal. The young mother is talking on the phone with her friend for almost an hour.
The child wanders around the apartment, not knowing what to do with himself. He asks his mother to give him an apple. Mother shakes him off and drives her to her room. But he does not go away, he stands next to him, starts to sob, falls to the floor, whines, hears. As you understand, the conversation with a friend is spoiled, the mother with irritation goes to the refrigerator and brings the child two apples.
The child very quickly realizes that Mom "no" is not at all definitive, therefore, it is not necessary to listen to Mom, but the main one in the house is he - he received an apple, and even two.
A capricious child begins to understand that his mother is absolutely indifferent that in fact he did not need an apple, but attention. There is a classic picture of buyback. The older the child becomes, the more expensive it will be for parents to pay attention to such a substitution.
Very often the communication with the child in many mothers comes down to several commands of the trainer - "to sit, I said", "I removed my hands," etc. When such a mother says: "I have a cranky child, what should I do with it?", The answer , as it seems to us, lies on the surface. We must stop talking to him like a trained animal.
The child grows, changes, and parents often do not keep up with him. If the relationship of parents to their beloved child does not change, then his vagaries will not disappear even with years. Before you lament over the fact that you have a moody child, start with yourself. Learn to communicate with him as an adult, do not "shudder", do not try to fulfill any of his whims, explain to your child every decision you make.