Hysterics in the child (2 years)
Every parent is familiar with childhood hysteria: some watch her less often, others - much more often. This behavior of the child is a real test for moms, dads, grandparents. Especially if the scandal takes place in a public place, and people have to watch this unpleasant picture. But in fact, quite often there are tantrums in a child. 2 years is a turning point.
Age from one year to three years is different in that in the life of the baby there are huge changes: he gets new knowledge, learns to speak, understands everything and knows how much. But, despite this, some things remain unavailable for the child, and he can not get them independently. Therefore, every refusal is perceived very sharply and painfully, and the baby manifests emotions through hysterics.
During this period, the child can be overly stubborn and do everything the other way around, and his character becomes simply unrecognizable: from obedient and kind baby he turns into a crying capricious.
Tantrums are a stage in the development of a child.
To this conclusion came the children's psychologists. Children learn self-control, but at 2 years old the child is difficult to restrain his anger and aggression, and they can not express feelings in words yet. After three years, when the baby learns to express their emotions verbally, tantrums must go on recession.
Sometimes parents complain that the child is naughty and makes scandals only in the presence of parents. This may be due to the fact that the kid checks the boundaries of what is permitted, but is not ready to show his feelings to those people whom he does not trust.
The causes of hysteria can be elementary trivia, which is almost impossible to predict. But psychologists identify a number of factors that provoke children's hysterics.
Anxiety or Disease
A small child can not always show what exactly it hurts. And the more he does not know how to explain to the adult that he is not feeling well. Parents should be vigilant and watch the baby. An indication of malaise can be a decreased appetite, excessive excitability or crying for no apparent reason.
Naturally, the sick child becomes the center of the family, so even after recovery, he can demand the same attention to himself. If the parents are sure that the baby feels well, and he is absolutely healthy, then such manipulations must be "extinguished" and not succumb.
Struggle for attention
Often because of a lack of parental attention, hysterics occur in the child. 2 years is a difficult period. To solve the problem, it is first of all necessary to determine how justified these requirements are. Perhaps it's not just whims, and the kid really feels deprived and lonely.
The main task of parents is to find the line when the satisfaction of needs ends and selfishness begins. If the baby tries to attract attention, but adults are always next to him, we should not go on about the little commander at the first cry.
Get the Desired
Often, because it is impossible to get what you want, there are hysterics in the child. 2 years is the period when the kid wants to get what he wants by any means. This may be a toy you like or unwillingness to leave the site, or something else that you should definitely get "here and now".
Parental prohibitions are not always clear to the child, and at times to convey the essence to the baby is very difficult because of his age. Now for him, there are many temptations with which it is incredibly difficult to fight. Therefore, parents should not specially tempt the baby. It is better to remove from his field of vision all the items that he might like, and not take it with him to the sales outlets with children's range and sweets.
Do not think that the child is too young and does not understand anything. Baby tantrums are a way to test the limits of what is allowed and to test parents for stress resistance. Therefore, it is necessary to be consistent and unshakable, so that the kid understands that the ban will not be canceled. Contradictory actions confuse the child and encourage him to come up with new tests for adults.
With the baby you need to talk on equal terms and explain to him why his desire can not be fulfilled now. Over time, the child will understand that the parent "no" is not subject to challenge, and whims in this case are useless.
Authoritarian parenting style and children's self-assertion
In most cases, the child rolls out tantrums if he tries to express protest to his parents. Perhaps authoritarian education does not allow the baby to express himself, so he rebels. Do not forget that children are also people, and they need a certain share of freedom.
The enthusiastic attitude of parents towards the child leads to the fact that the child becomes complacent to himself, but is absolutely intolerant to others. The lack of constant attention causes the child to have a storm of negative emotions that find a way out in hysterics.
In order for children to develop harmoniously, adults should observe the right balance of care and freedom. When a child is sure that his opinion is valued and respected, it will be easier to take bans.
Moods for no reason
Sometimes there is no reason for hysteria in the child. 2 years - the age when the baby can not explain, because of what he was upset. To understand the situation, parents should analyze the latest developments. Perhaps, in a family the tense situation or the kid simply did not get enough sleep. All people have different character and individual characteristics, that's why all children react in their own way to what is happening.
How to avoid tantrums?
Parents who have a child for 2 years know that it is impossible to completely avoid hysteria, but measures can be taken to reduce the consequences.
- The baby should sleep well.
- You must comply with the regime of the day.
- Do not plan the day so that the child receives a large number of new impressions. If this is unavoidable, then care must be taken that there is something to entertain the baby.
- Need to teach children to express their feelings. It is necessary to gently tell them how to do it correctly and help them choose words.
- If possible, the child should be given the right to choose, if only in matters that are not fundamental.
- All changes in the daily routine should be warned in advance, for example, five minutes before lunch, the baby should be informed that he will be eating soon.
If the tantrum has already begun ...
Many parents wonder: the child has hysterics - what to do? First of all, you need to remember that you can not threaten your child with punishment if he hysteria. In this case, the child will accumulate aggression and resentment, which destroy his psychological health and provoke new scandals. Adults should behave calmly and confidently, expressing understanding. Over time, children learn to control their emotions and monitor their behavior.
But you should not beguile and encourage the child in any way to calm down. This will give him confidence that this can be done in order to get what he wants. There is no need to explain something to the child at the moment of shouting and crying, he is unlikely to learn the words addressed to him. Better wait until he settles down.
If often there are hysterics in the child, Komarovsky advises parents to learn to say "no." The decision can not be changed or softened, so that the kid does not begin to manipulate adults. The indulgence of children's moods will lead to the loss of the limits of what is permissible, so the kid will look for them with new persistence.
While the child does not calm down, it is necessary to speak quietly, but firmly. His position should be argued and argued, which will be clear to the child at his age.
In the event that a child wakes up with hysteria, it is worth making sure that his dream was full and long enough. Perhaps you should put him to bed a little earlier. But this behavior can be observed due to the excitable nervous system and the individual characteristics of the baby. Parents can try to make the morning more enjoyable and quiet, allowing the child to decide what to eat for breakfast: an unloved porridge or a delicious curd. Sometimes compromises work miracles, besides the child learns to negotiate and concede.