Spoiled children: the correct education of children
The appearance of children is a joy for every family. Love for the child is an indispensable condition of family happiness and full-fledged education of the baby. But sometimes parents unnecessarily pamper their child with gifts, attention and indulgence to his whims. Spoiled children become a real headache not only for parents, but for society as a whole. Egoism shapes the child's disrespect for people, indifference to the needs of others. Love, attention and affection - it's good, but how to understand where to stop, so as not to get a spoiled teenager in the future? Parental errors are many.
Parents stimulate the actions of their child with various material gifts. For example: "I'll buy you a new computer, if you get all the five." This is a good way for a child to start doing important things. But, on the other hand, this method can not be used constantly. Children absorb the secrets of manipulation like sponges and in the future can say: "I will not do anything until you buy me a phone." Usually in such situations, spoiled children of wealthy parents find themselves, who pay special attention to their material status and are worried that their children will be deprived compared to their peers. For mom and dad, it is important to demonstrate material security, a high appreciation of the family by society. Children who are spoiled by expensive gifts do not appreciate their value and the work of their parents, consider it a duty.
Or vice versa, parents work all day, and the child is left to himself. Parental love is replaced by gifts. Mom and Dad can not give children the proper attention, to caress them and to talk heart to heart. Education is limited to material reckoning, which, naturally, can not replace the child of the necessary family affinity. Of these children grow cold, unfamiliar, but also spoiled by gifts of personality, which is difficult to please.
Indulging the whims
It is only necessary to begin to cry - and the desired is presented on a silver platter. Moms do not want to waste their nerves in the store when the baby falls to the floor and sobs, wanting to get a chocolate or a new toy. Parents are embarrassed by outsiders and buy everything that their whims want, if only this nightmare would end. A child in this situation is a manipulator who perfectly understands the situation and uses it to achieve his goals.
"He's small" is a phrase familiar to everyone. Well, that he broke the vase, yelled at his older sister and took away the toy from the girl in the sandbox, he's small, when he grows up - he'll understand. Hypertrophied love for his child turns into the creation of an absolute manipulator for parents. Opens the space for whims, hysteria and command of all family members. Absence of remarks and rules forms selfishness and permissiveness. The only child in the family is a classic example of this error. Parents adore the child and realize all his desires without penalty, not punishing for antics.
On the same level
Friendly communication with the child is very good. This creates a sense of trust, a close relationship with the parent. But, despite this, children sometimes start to educate their parents, talk on elevated tones, without feeling authority. From time to time, it is worth reminding the child that mom and dad are primarily senior family members who need to be respected.
Spoiled children. Symptoms
- Systematic tantrums at home and in public places. Refusing to purchase the desired is the most common reason.
- Discontent with everything: from food to new toys. Such children quickly get bored, and they require new entertainments or things of other children.
- Refusal to fulfill requests or rules established by parents or other senior members of the family, for example, unwillingness to clean up their belongings or toys in place.
- Selfishness. Disrespect to others, inability to share.
- Offer good behavior in return for what you want.
- Lack of understanding of the word "impossible."
Who is guilty?
Spoiled children are the result of incorrect education. Love for a child should be expressed in helping to develop his character and habits, and not in buying the desired dolls or cars. Virtually all children who grow up in large families do not receive expensive gifts. However, parents bring up love for their loved ones, the need to help the family. Every gift for them is of value and joy, and not an everyday occurrence. Such children respect the work of their parents, and do not manipulate them. The child is useful to know the scope of behavior, adequately respond to life's difficulties and try to cope on their own, without hiding behind my mother's skirt.
Grandmothers and grandfathers
The older generation is called upon to love and pamper their grandchildren. Well, if they live separately and spoil from time to time, but sometimes parents live with you and do not consider you to be the main educators. Huge love also grows into indulgence to whims and complete submission to a small egoist. Children spoiled by grandmothers learn to manipulate adults and understand that if from their parents they can not get what they want, then the grandparents will definitely make their dreams come true. Grandmother will give the forbidden chocolate candy, will buy a new doll. It is important to discuss the subtleties of education with the older generation, to create compromises. Children raised in such a hyperope grow selfish and do not appreciate the attention and labor that the family has invested in them.
How not to spoil the child and raise a personality in him?
- To say no to children is possible and necessary. Thus, such concepts as the life rules, feelings and needs of other people are laid. Refusing a child in something, it is necessary to argue your action. If mom has money and the desire to buy some gift, then there is nothing wrong with buying a toy in the store. If the family does not have a sufficient budget, then it is worth explaining this to your child. Knowing the situation, he will appreciate the surprises and selectively select the things he needs.
- Mom and the child should spend enough time together, play and communicate. Girls and boys should be accustomed to domestic chores, help the elders. Having learned what labor is, children will respect their parents, appreciate their personal things. Discipline and diligence are brought up from childhood. Ask the child to clean the apartment, wash the dishes, etc.
- You also need to learn from an early age of compassion for others and generosity. Knowingly in the sandboxes, moms make kids share their buckets and spatulas, because this is one of the main steps to educating a good man. Greed is one of the resulting spoils.
- It is necessary to designate the boundaries of what is permissible and follow them unswervingly. If the child will notice a breach in the rules, then he will certainly use it for his manipulations.
- That's if something should be pampered, then, of course, emotions. Mom and the child have a great energy connection. Affection and attention should replace material gifts. From the cradle, babies need tactile sensations of love. Kissing, hugging and feeling sorry for a child can and should be done! Of course, you need to know the extent and look at age. Older children need support and acceptance of them as they are. Spoil your children correctly - and bring up good qualities in them!
- The child must understand the motives of prohibitions and rewards. Parents are obliged to talk and explain to their children what is good and what is bad. If a child deserves a gift with his good behavior, then there is nothing wrong with making him a surprise. Parents should give a gift from the heart, for truly deserved deeds. So children will learn to appreciate things that will be real surprises, not ordinary acquisitions.
What to do?
Not all parents can take correct educational measures from the first time, and the obedient is replaced by a spoiled child. What should parents do in this situation?
When the wrong child behavior is obvious, it is worth reviewing the rules of upbringing, as well as your behavior. Children like a sponge absorb the traits of their parents' character, and also shape their character based on the family situation. Patience and several rules will help to correct errors in upbringing.
- Strict regime of the day will help the child to systematize his behavior and learn to follow the rules. Sleep, lunch and entertainment at the same time - the right start for correcting the dumpster.
- Spoiled children need discipline. Domestic help is a must. Secure the child for a special task, which he must strictly perform, for example, wipe the dust and water the flowers. So he will learn to appreciate the work of other people, respect the elders.
- Replace computer games or watch TV on interesting mugs. Swimming, modeling or music will present a new hobby, teach systematic, and peers will not pay attention to his whims.
- It is necessary to talk, to praise the child for his achievements. Children are in dire need of recognition from adults. Bad behavior should not be discussed on high tones, but during a confidential conversation. So the child will understand that you love him, but are unhappy with his actions.
- A healthy diet will help you feel vigorous, improve the health and mood of the child.
"Do not carry on your hands, do not sleep with the newborn, and then you'll be spoiled," - advice to young mothers is given to all who are not lazy. The kid needs the support and care of parents. Raising a child up to a year is a period of maternal caress, custody and help to a newborn to get used to the realities of life. This is impossible to spoil, it was invented by Mother Nature. Babies can not manipulate, they cry to tell their mother about hunger, colic, cutting tooth. It is necessary for the Toddler, through touch and tenderness, to form a benevolent attitude to the world around him. Raising a child up to a year should initially be a flow of love and attention.
Pamper can and should be
Childhood is a beautiful time, in which there should be warmth, affection and happy emotions. Parents are the guides for their children, their mentors and guardian angels. From an early age, they are obliged to give their children love and protect them from negative situations. Strictly fulfilling the requests of a small manipulator will not replace his parental care, but only dilute. Pamper the child with warmth, family attention and valuable gifts on important days for him. Surprises should remain surprises, and not ordinary purchases. Education of spiritual qualities and independence is the main value that parents can give.